thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
