shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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