the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
