she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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