Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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