I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
