As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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