Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
