New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
