What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
