a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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