Plan B is the new Plan A
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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