That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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