your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
