she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I need to calm my uterus...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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