I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
