Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
