all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
