I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
