we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
