its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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