Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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