You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
