Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
