He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I think i got beer on your cat.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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