Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
