I wish I only lived at night.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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