we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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