Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize