where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
