And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
home. puking in laundry basket.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
