So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
