found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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