Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
