he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
