JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
