thus making me awesome and them whores
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
