I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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