walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
