i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
