In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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