...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Randomize
