The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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