Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
