i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Fuck appropriateness.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
