she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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