chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize