walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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