its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
