Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
