Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
