I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize