I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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