Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
