I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
