hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
