I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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