My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
