Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Randomize
