You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
