So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
