Reggie can tackle my bush.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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