I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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