Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Dick very happy bro
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
