I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize