You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
