Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
